How do I have a social life

There are consequences that come with raising a child with bipolar, Adhd, anxiety and a sleeping disorder. For me its hard to have a social life. Its nice to have that close friend your bff there for ya. I don't have a lot of friends its hard for me and sometimes depressing. A lot of the friends that I had just didn't understand my situation and the negative feed back is something i do not need. The worst feeling is to have a friend that just makes you feel like you are doing everything wrong and an unfit mother. So I just keep telling my self that its best for me to just be alone. Its safer for me its my comfort zone, you say it enough you start to believe that's the only way.
       This sounds so bad but I was told its normal. I sometimes think to my self and blame my daughter for me not being able to date or have friends. I have been so embarrassed with the behaviors that happens  in front of friends or someone that I try to date. So I shut my self out. My anxiety kicks in when we are invited to someones house or even meeting my friends at the park. So what do I do? I often ask my self that question. Should I continue to be stubborn and be alone and isolated? I do hope some day I can have a family another child but im at that stage where I just want to give up. Should I? I some times wonder will I even be able to let some one in would I ever be able to feel comfortable with someone or do I even want to? I wonder that because im so used to being alone In my own comfort zone.
       I know that there is no one to blame and I feel so guilty when thinking she is to blame, I love her so much I don't regret any part of my life with her. Just writing this blog is so hard for me and very emotional. I know there are other parents out there raising a child with a disability and feel the same way sometimes. I read about it and think thank god im not alone. I don't know what I would do with out the safety net I have around me right now. I have to try and keep an open mind and maybe take those chances. life throws all sorts of challenges our way. I tell myself take one day at a time.