I took the steps to getting some help at home with my daughter. Honestly I was scared the thought of having some therapist/parenting advocate come into my home was a little nerve racking.You have the fear of being judge on how you are handling things at home or how your house looks its hard.On a good note after a couple visits i started to feel comfortable and getting the feedback they give and the support is easier for me to take in. I recommend it for family's struggling they are there for you helping you step by step.
Some of the things im working on is keeping my foot down, and i will tell you its no picnic.I thought i had it bad before with the mood changes and the aggression and violence the hurtful words. Now that im putting my foot down becoming a stronger parent all that has magnified and life is hard right now. im optimistic that this will get better.Is there any parents out there raising a child with a disability and going threw this? sometimes i feel like im the only one. the past couple weeks i find myself crying all the time wondering whats going to happen next.
any parent going threw this its a tough job. i love my daughter to death i don't know what i would do with out her.i look at her when shes in a rage and i just want to snap my fingers and make her happy. im trying to be a stronger parent even though this is a difficult time in my life right know im going to do it i dont want to give in raising a child with a disability is a full time job emotionally and physically but you keep going for your child that's all you can do. keep your head up and take one day at a time.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Paranoia
One of the hardest thing to deal with raising a child with bipolar is paranoia. what a stressful thing its emotionally tiring. my daughter tends to get paranoid that im telling secrets about her, and she needs to know what the adults are talking about all the time. when im on the phone it seems as shes always right there listenin and if I try to leave the room the parinoia gets worse. So I have to have adult conversations when shes not around but its not always that easy. I have to have a isolated life well thats what it seems like.How do you deal with something like this?
So tonight was a hard night for me. I thought it would be a good day. we had a good day planed. we went to the pet store thats somthing my daughter wanted to do she was looking forward to it. It was a good way to start the day. when we got back she was able to play with a couple of friends and her 1\2 brother came over for dinner. She seemed to be having a good time. Then about an hr after playing she started to complain she was so board and was getting very emotional crying for no reason storming in and out of the house saying she hated everyone, then getting lots of energy and running up and down the street. I feel bad because she does this in front of her friends but she cant help it. Its hard when she does it in front of the friends parents. its emabaring sometimes and hard to explain it to them. What do you say?
Her 1\2 brothers mother asked if she could leave something with me that she didn't want to bring home something personal. as soon as they left I went to go put it away and my daughter got so upset that she didn't know what it was she began to get paranoid that it was something bad and it ended up being a 1\2hr tantrum with crying hitting and screaming. She was saying over and over I'm scared and your hiding something from me I need to know its bad I know it. What do you do in a situation like this? There is no reasoning with her. When she gets like this she gets angry and becomes very violent the mood changes I can deal with but the being violent torwds me I feel I cant deal with it I dont know what to do I become nervous. Children with bipolar get very strong when they are in that rage mode, I feel lost like I don't have any control. I need help with learning how to deal with it, different strategies and at the same time I need to learn how to control my own anxiety during the episode.How do you do that?
I wish I had answers to everything. I wish it was easier to control her sometimes.I have to keep telling myself no parent is perfect. Raising a child with a disability is the hardest job I don't know how I survive the days sometimes but I do. At the end of the day I have to take care of my self unwind a lot of the time its hard to do that. I work my self up and try to understand what went wrong. Is it really fixable? This is a life time of hard work there is nothing I can do about it but be strong. I look up to all the parents out there that raise a child with a disability its a hard job.
So tonight was a hard night for me. I thought it would be a good day. we had a good day planed. we went to the pet store thats somthing my daughter wanted to do she was looking forward to it. It was a good way to start the day. when we got back she was able to play with a couple of friends and her 1\2 brother came over for dinner. She seemed to be having a good time. Then about an hr after playing she started to complain she was so board and was getting very emotional crying for no reason storming in and out of the house saying she hated everyone, then getting lots of energy and running up and down the street. I feel bad because she does this in front of her friends but she cant help it. Its hard when she does it in front of the friends parents. its emabaring sometimes and hard to explain it to them. What do you say?
Her 1\2 brothers mother asked if she could leave something with me that she didn't want to bring home something personal. as soon as they left I went to go put it away and my daughter got so upset that she didn't know what it was she began to get paranoid that it was something bad and it ended up being a 1\2hr tantrum with crying hitting and screaming. She was saying over and over I'm scared and your hiding something from me I need to know its bad I know it. What do you do in a situation like this? There is no reasoning with her. When she gets like this she gets angry and becomes very violent the mood changes I can deal with but the being violent torwds me I feel I cant deal with it I dont know what to do I become nervous. Children with bipolar get very strong when they are in that rage mode, I feel lost like I don't have any control. I need help with learning how to deal with it, different strategies and at the same time I need to learn how to control my own anxiety during the episode.How do you do that?
I wish I had answers to everything. I wish it was easier to control her sometimes.I have to keep telling myself no parent is perfect. Raising a child with a disability is the hardest job I don't know how I survive the days sometimes but I do. At the end of the day I have to take care of my self unwind a lot of the time its hard to do that. I work my self up and try to understand what went wrong. Is it really fixable? This is a life time of hard work there is nothing I can do about it but be strong. I look up to all the parents out there that raise a child with a disability its a hard job.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
How do I have a social life
There are consequences that come with raising a child with bipolar, Adhd, anxiety and a sleeping disorder. For me its hard to have a social life. Its nice to have that close friend your bff there for ya. I don't have a lot of friends its hard for me and sometimes depressing. A lot of the friends that I had just didn't understand my situation and the negative feed back is something i do not need. The worst feeling is to have a friend that just makes you feel like you are doing everything wrong and an unfit mother. So I just keep telling my self that its best for me to just be alone. Its safer for me its my comfort zone, you say it enough you start to believe that's the only way.
This sounds so bad but I was told its normal. I sometimes think to my self and blame my daughter for me not being able to date or have friends. I have been so embarrassed with the behaviors that happens in front of friends or someone that I try to date. So I shut my self out. My anxiety kicks in when we are invited to someones house or even meeting my friends at the park. So what do I do? I often ask my self that question. Should I continue to be stubborn and be alone and isolated? I do hope some day I can have a family another child but im at that stage where I just want to give up. Should I? I some times wonder will I even be able to let some one in would I ever be able to feel comfortable with someone or do I even want to? I wonder that because im so used to being alone In my own comfort zone.
I know that there is no one to blame and I feel so guilty when thinking she is to blame, I love her so much I don't regret any part of my life with her. Just writing this blog is so hard for me and very emotional. I know there are other parents out there raising a child with a disability and feel the same way sometimes. I read about it and think thank god im not alone. I don't know what I would do with out the safety net I have around me right now. I have to try and keep an open mind and maybe take those chances. life throws all sorts of challenges our way. I tell myself take one day at a time.
This sounds so bad but I was told its normal. I sometimes think to my self and blame my daughter for me not being able to date or have friends. I have been so embarrassed with the behaviors that happens in front of friends or someone that I try to date. So I shut my self out. My anxiety kicks in when we are invited to someones house or even meeting my friends at the park. So what do I do? I often ask my self that question. Should I continue to be stubborn and be alone and isolated? I do hope some day I can have a family another child but im at that stage where I just want to give up. Should I? I some times wonder will I even be able to let some one in would I ever be able to feel comfortable with someone or do I even want to? I wonder that because im so used to being alone In my own comfort zone.
I know that there is no one to blame and I feel so guilty when thinking she is to blame, I love her so much I don't regret any part of my life with her. Just writing this blog is so hard for me and very emotional. I know there are other parents out there raising a child with a disability and feel the same way sometimes. I read about it and think thank god im not alone. I don't know what I would do with out the safety net I have around me right now. I have to try and keep an open mind and maybe take those chances. life throws all sorts of challenges our way. I tell myself take one day at a time.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
First day of school and the struggles that come with it.
Today was my daughters first day of school. She was so excited but nervous at the same time, I was excited for her. What was strange was I was happy she was going it was a weight lifted off my shoulders. I felt awful towards the end of they day and ashamed because honestly I was dreading the time to pick her up. I know that sounds bad and wrong, but my own anxiety was kicking in. See the thing about raising a child with bipolar is you cant ever really ward off disaster. To wonder what will happen next will she be happy will she be angry or will she be depressed when I pick her up .Those are the things that run threw my head and I have to prepare my self for anything that might happen, so yes my anxiety kicks in.
Today was a up and down day. She was excited to be home and surprisingly excited to do her homework. She had to pick out a book to read for school. She started to read the book and was so proud of her self that she was able to read most of the words. Things were going good. Then she became irritable and frustrated because the words were getting difficult. Now with any child that's normal and you are able to help them through it.Well with her I knew that it might be a struggle getting her to calm down.. I told her that maybe it was time to take a break from reading and directed her to a different project, so we sat down and started to draw. At this point she wasn't able to settle down she was getting frustrated that she couldn't draw. I try and avoid power struggled and pick my own battles, some times it works and some times it doesn't. today was the day it didn't.children with bipolar some times will rage, break things, get depressed and hurt peoples feelings or even themselves. I will be honest its hard for me to put my foot down because of my own anxiety wondering what will happen and will I be able to handle the outcome. Her frustration turned into her throwing things talking fresh and not able to keep her hands to her self. Today i put my foot down and thought there's no going back. It was hard but we pulled threw it and I was proud of myself.
I think just the day of being in school and her holding it together was hard and by the time she got home she wasn't able to she was in her comfort zone. Every day is different I have to learn to give myself room for error no body can do this job perfectly. I have to keep my own sanity by keeping my self well. Get support for myself. Not have negative people in my life that put blame, because there is no one to blame. I didn't ask for this. I had to learn a whole new way of living and its not easy. All I can do is be understanding about her mood episodes, and know that this isn't her fault.So today was hard and the struggle today was overwhelming and you just cant put into words on how hard and so very tiring it was. Im optimistic that tomorrow will be a good day for us.
being a parent raising a child with bipolar is a hard job every day is unpredictable. I love my daughter with all my heart shes sweet and a smart girl, and that's what any parent wants.My advise is make every day special show them you love them with all your heart. And never let them see your anxiety keep strong and hold your head up life is great and precious. Make every day worth it even threw the tough days.
Today was a up and down day. She was excited to be home and surprisingly excited to do her homework. She had to pick out a book to read for school. She started to read the book and was so proud of her self that she was able to read most of the words. Things were going good. Then she became irritable and frustrated because the words were getting difficult. Now with any child that's normal and you are able to help them through it.Well with her I knew that it might be a struggle getting her to calm down.. I told her that maybe it was time to take a break from reading and directed her to a different project, so we sat down and started to draw. At this point she wasn't able to settle down she was getting frustrated that she couldn't draw. I try and avoid power struggled and pick my own battles, some times it works and some times it doesn't. today was the day it didn't.children with bipolar some times will rage, break things, get depressed and hurt peoples feelings or even themselves. I will be honest its hard for me to put my foot down because of my own anxiety wondering what will happen and will I be able to handle the outcome. Her frustration turned into her throwing things talking fresh and not able to keep her hands to her self. Today i put my foot down and thought there's no going back. It was hard but we pulled threw it and I was proud of myself.
I think just the day of being in school and her holding it together was hard and by the time she got home she wasn't able to she was in her comfort zone. Every day is different I have to learn to give myself room for error no body can do this job perfectly. I have to keep my own sanity by keeping my self well. Get support for myself. Not have negative people in my life that put blame, because there is no one to blame. I didn't ask for this. I had to learn a whole new way of living and its not easy. All I can do is be understanding about her mood episodes, and know that this isn't her fault.So today was hard and the struggle today was overwhelming and you just cant put into words on how hard and so very tiring it was. Im optimistic that tomorrow will be a good day for us.
being a parent raising a child with bipolar is a hard job every day is unpredictable. I love my daughter with all my heart shes sweet and a smart girl, and that's what any parent wants.My advise is make every day special show them you love them with all your heart. And never let them see your anxiety keep strong and hold your head up life is great and precious. Make every day worth it even threw the tough days.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
My First Post
Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength. I have learned that if you want your child to improve let them overhear the nice things you say about them to others.
Its good to always praise your child for the good things they have done and the things that they have accomplished. Raising a child with a disability the best advise I was given by specialist was to over praise your child. I took that advise and I recommend it for any parent who raises a child with a disability. I praise my daughter for every little thing she does even the smallest things like picking up one toy when asked, and every time she says thank you and please. I overly praise her every single time with hugs and kisses.Through out the day I call her over and give her a hug and tell her how much I love her and how smart she is. It works, Every day seems to get better and to see that smile is rewarding enough and worth going threw the tough challenges every single day.
Its good to always praise your child for the good things they have done and the things that they have accomplished. Raising a child with a disability the best advise I was given by specialist was to over praise your child. I took that advise and I recommend it for any parent who raises a child with a disability. I praise my daughter for every little thing she does even the smallest things like picking up one toy when asked, and every time she says thank you and please. I overly praise her every single time with hugs and kisses.Through out the day I call her over and give her a hug and tell her how much I love her and how smart she is. It works, Every day seems to get better and to see that smile is rewarding enough and worth going threw the tough challenges every single day.
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